The illusion of Grief
One of my biggest blessings has been the realisation of how precious life is…Feeling the razor sharp edge of life in the face of immortality, saying goodbye to loved ones, has been the birthplace of some of my most powerful gifts ever – Awakening my drive to really live! As a result, no longer do I have the illusion of grief.
What a gift to be set free from, to break through such a heavy burden of emotion! I am someone who many people have interpreted as having “experienced substantial loss”…yet I feel no loss at all! I feel the gifts that were born of the love shared with angels, the blessings born of the spiritual protection that I’ve been given. This power that I feel within to have nothing to lose is almost superhuman and I would not trade that in not for one moment to have anyone of my loved one’s back in physical form because the truth is, they fulfilled their purpose on earth. If for nothing else, they made a difference in my life…unveiling powerful realities that would become the driving force behind my purpose in life.
Each one of my so called “losses” was the death of someone, my mother, father, brother, sister and many more…who each taught me great lessons, through their living…in the choices not to make – for their cost will always come. From each one of my family members that died because of drugs, I learned an invaluable lesson and not only that, It has given me a career in Drug rehabilitation and Dis-ease Pre-vention, which I feel I could not be more cut out for. I have a certainty that I have the power to make a difference, which is priceless! Learning that whatever we choose for ourselves, there is a cost, for me as a youth, was invaluable beyond a doubt!
Having been caught in the illusion of grief throughout times along my journey, I have witnessed myself seeking to fill the voids, that I perceived with all kinds of self destructive means. I have had toxic relationships and living situations, that I chose to stay in, purely to a-void feelings of emptiness. Until the pain of the destructive behaviors such as engaging in toxic and abusive relationships, becomes too great, the pain of the void will always seem greater.
Taking the band-aid off such voids requires an honest analysis of the gifts born of the so called “losses” that we perceive and therefor experience as a result. Realising the hidden value of the shifts in life making way for new growth to emerge, is beyond most other powers in awakening the ability to live gracefully and gratefully. There is truly nothing ever missing, but the fulfillment of our own spiritual wellbeing.
This will come when we open the doors to the perfection of life’s unfolding, like a tree through autumn, letting go of old leaves, openning our branches up to the sun, lighting up our life so that we may learn new things. In doing so, we can finally confront our own illusions of grief and experience an even more rapid pace of growth than possible in the holding on of cycles past.
Leah your wisdom always astounds me and your ability to rise above the pain of loss and grief amazes me. We are blessed to have loved well enough to feel the pain and live well from it.
Thank you Marg. I am so grateful to have crossed paths with you. Such a strong connection is rare and I value your understanding and compassion deeply. Love so much!!
leah, this is amazing, i really like this one,
how are you so young, yet so full of wisdom and courage, its really amazing, i am somewhat envious, if only i had half your understanding of life and the reasoning in this crazy world, nothing ever seems to make sence to me but to you everything has a reason, a purpose, i so wish i was able to view things in that light.
Thank you Andrew, this is why I share my perspective… So as to shed light on the hidden order that too few see in all of life and how beautiful it can be & is! If we only open our eyes to the beauty:)