It is common to see the label “victim” attached to people who have experienced “trauma and abuse”…and to see people that are adopting this as the filter through which they perceive the world and their experiences. I have seen many people buying into the idea that some incident that occured in their lives, dis-empowered them, was “wrong” or even tragic. While I have great compassion for human suffering which is in actual fact, an aspect of the human condition…I feel that seeing things in this light, is what holds people back from finding true healing.
When I was just eleven or twelve years old, I was asked to write a victim impact statement to the courts about the murder of my brother…and how it effected me. I can remember feeling confused, not knowing what to write. I remember finding it a challenge to frame things in such a light, as I never quite believed, even then, that this had such power over me to be the determining factor over the unfolding of my dreams.
I did not yet consciously understand what my dreams were at that age…I merely knew that my life would be great. I saw the seed within that sparkled with joy, as the sun entered my bedroom window each day. It’s strange as even then, I never really felt the absense of my brother. It was not real to me to feel loss…though I certainly felt shock. I’ll also admit it was a rude awakening to how risky this business called life really is…but that truth right there, has been the realisation that has saved me from falling…It has been my saving grace!
The gift of such awakenings through my youth, have been the greatest, most powerful blessings that have given me the inner force to fly through the spiritual journey of living…with wonder, bliss and pure electricity for the mere appreciation of being alive! The contrast I have felt between the hurdles and the mundane…have actually allowed me to see things in a different light. I don’t see “mundane”…I see the beauty of simplicity. To me…that’s not victimhood…that’s an opportunity!
Obstacles, through my eyes, are infact opportunities in disguise. If we open them up and search beyond what people tell us we should feel about something…how horrible that must be, or how sad and hard that must be…we can move into a world of great wonder and gratitude for the realisation of how prescious life is. How great it is that we are given this life and every moment in it…to do with it what we choose!
The illusion of victimhood, is disempowering…taking away from the person their power to take the experience of trauma and learn from the wound. Such a journey is special…it is a gift that we may then carry with us and transform into great compassion. Through such wounds, we discover the depths of our selves and how much we can endure. Pain is character building and prepares us spiritually for that which is yet to come. It is there so that we may learn to appreciate the finer things in life. Pain is our greatest teacher…to be a “victim” is deny the treasure that comes inside life’s experiences. It is an essential part of our growth.