My greatest value being wellbeing, is born out of the understanding of how disempowering it can be to sacrifice one’s health and independance because of lifestyle choices, watching my mother go down that road, passing away at fiftyone. My father passed away 3 years later, when I was 20 in much the same way, due to a twenty year road of drug and alcohol addiction.
Growing up, I had many child protection workers assigned my case and four older siblings. Two that ran away and two that died because of the drugs. These were the very things, that gave birth to my determination to be there for others going through the same dark allies that I have been so blessed to make my way out of. And today, my work in both the health and community welfare sector, promoting living skills, is something I can say I would never have been blessed to pursue so persistently had my life of been different.
It is my firm belief, that we can all make our way out of the darkness…with the right self care as an important part of the journey. People may say that they dont have time to take care of their health, but I truly would rather take time… to look after myself than spend time being ill. In all the years my mother was alive since giving me life, not once do I recall her being physically healthy and well.
She spent much of her time in bed, being dignosed with diabetes, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, cilliacs disease, asthma and so much more, that I could go on and on. She spent countless hours at the doctors and every day taking medication of all types for her ills.
She could hardly walk in the end, her body had become ailed so deeply that she looked twice her age. One could say that she suffered a great deal of trauma throughout her life… having had the passing of her first husband in a cyclone, her first born (daughter) in a house fire, and my brother, who was murdered by drug dealers, then my sister, his twin, to suicide by over dose, as well as her father from a brain hemorage.
I understand how hard it must have been to process all of that without any help, that turning to drugs is one way of finding a solution to block the mental pollution, I do have great compassion for her in knowing the pain that she felt in experiencing the emotions she did… But my understanding is that there are so many other ways, so much more one can do to help themselves.
I myself would drown myself with books in the library growing up. I would spend much of my time devouring books on healing and philosophy, so as to help myself understand and see things in a light that gave me perspective.
Today, I am much the same, holding the beleif that self care and self education are two of the most powerful things that one can do. No matter what happens, wisdom is the one thing that cannot be taken away from us. And I guess having lost a mother, father, brother and sister, I have such strong views around mortality which is what gives me great passion for writing…so that something may be left when I die.
It’s the one thing that we can pass on and contribute to the world, long after we are gone. So as I write this, I have a vision in my heart, and purpose not only to express myself, but to leave a message behind, so that my life is not lived and forgotten, but given meaning and substance.