Hanging in Balance

Today I have found myself to be focused upon the process of weighing things up, which I feel is a core part of our life. Constantly contemplating and considering the balance of every little choice has become an enormous part of my internal life. Day dreaming in and out of presence, I find it to be sometimes impossible not to think about the possibilities of the future and purpose of the now. I find balance in wondering between the two, in preparing for what could be out of weighing the potentials and their ability to fulfill our calling in life.

Always a dreamer, I spend much of my own life, in and out of meditative states…questioning the grander essence of the now and all of the feeling being experienced. I value each moment for it’s greatness in beauty yet hold this in balance with an exciting nervousness about what may be real and unknown, yet to be faced or overcome. My appreciation for the lessons essential in human life gives me faith to trust and love, yet I am always drawn back to a floating feeling of uncertainty, that is rich in poetry. Familiar with this feeling, I embrace it’s emptiness and wealth of possibility.

I challenge myself day in and day out, with inner quests to see life in different ways. Ways that empower my life and the spirit of love, endurance and openness…yet am resistance in being naturally stubborn and wondering if this is simply who I am…and my inner compass guiding me with integrity and certainty. Poetic parallels give rise to adrenaline within my flowing blood as I face the time that passes with the many questions within. I dive into this pool of contemplation with a sense of both freedom and fright all at once, and wonder if we can ever truly have one without the other.

In a dream like state, I add words to the page as I am called to clear this mind of it’s fullness and clear the way for clarity that is so strongly desired. I weigh the possibilities in each hand with loving consideration. All aspects of life, held in this one meditation…waiting for their destinies to be determined. I feel a rise in both responsibility for my own life, as well as a sense of adventure and wilderness. Not knowing where my magnetic compass will take me, I ponder and play with many ideas. I feel an invitation to myself to be free and careless in a way that brings me joy, yet careful and cautious all at once. After all this is my life.

I wonder if you may have times where you experience this inner dance, between two opposite forces that balance one another…how you would embrace such inner drives. I wonder if you were to take a moment to consider all that you hold dear, if you would allow for each treasure to be explored within you, so that you too may love each multifaceted aspect of your being and soul. Through the confusion, I wonder if you too could explore adventurously the world within you and come to a place of clarity…that we are dynamic spiritual beings with many aspects of light. With this knowing, I wonder how freely you would allow yourself to run wild in the direction of your calling.

I know myself, that I feel little choice other than to love the journey of discovery, and learning to understand the self. I am called not only now, but have been all of the way, to dig deep to find the truth of what calls me most. Through the weighing up I find that we are faced with many challenges to consider deeply our most dominant core values. We are like the lead light crystal with many colourful aspects, shining brightly, waiting to be seen. I believe that there is a time that is never wrong or right, for these colours to shine…and that through time, they each will have their place in our lives. I feel it is our beautiful choice as to when we open the doors for each one of these callings to manifest in our lives, and how. And that this is the unique experience and soul journey that is our human birth right.

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