Over the recent months…

I always knew 2012 would be a significant year with the Water Dragon bringing many changes and challenges with it’s rewards. Over the recent months there has been significant uprooting in my life. Lost family have been brought back to one another after 15 years within weeks of uncanny developments, calling me to dig through the past in order to stand for justice in the face of a legal decision being passed against the human rights of my sister, who’s anniversary it is tomorrow,  along with my mother’s. 

On the 9th of October 1997, my sister took her life after enduring a trail of abuse 9 months after our brother, her twin was tortured to death by our mother’s drug dealer and his gang. This man coincidently is to be released from prison next year. Six years after my sister’s suicide, my mother died naturally on the same day in 2003, of course after much abuse, alcoholism and physical deterioration. 

As it stands now, I have been challenging the NSW Trustee & Guardian on the matter of my sister’s “estate” being Victims of Crime Compensation for sexual abuse from an uncle of ours back when we were small children. Given that my sister was also abused by her father, which is detailed in Police reports, I am now contesting the entitlement of her father as equal beneficiary to myself,  as being my mother’s next of kin. 

Given that my sister’s suicide letter requested all of her belongings go to me, “my younger sister Leah”, I pleaded against the ruling that any compensation go to her father as another one of her abusers. 

After months of applications for the release of documents from my sisters Child Protection file being 2000 pages, a Police report on the molestation endured from her father and the suicide note from the Coroners, I submitted these documents only to be told that they were disregarded and that her father, is still considered equally entitled to my sisters estate, given her suicide note was not a legal will purely because she was a minor, not yet 18. 

I have now sent a letter to the CEO of the NSW Trustee to contest this decision, asking why I was asked to find such documents if they had no value or influence in the ruling, especially given the traumatic nature of reading and reliving such events.

Needless to say, recent months have been incredibly demanding on an energetic level, to the point of  near exhaustion. On the other hand, I have been blessed to have my beautiful life to ground me and maintain my strength through the focus on purpose and health as without it, I feel I would have fallen. My heart burnt as I read through hundreds of pages of torment that we as young children lived through, and memories better left forgotten, dragged up…but I stand here now, giving thanks for the experience of such great challenge, to overcome such significant personal turmoil. 

This hurdle has given me great determination to stand up for justice while remembering what really matters,  which is to be able to surrender with grace to the greater forces while still standing my ground.

At the end of the day, I cannot change a ruling of the law, but I can rest in knowing that I did what was honourable. I refused to accept any compensation for the purpose of clarifying my reason for fighting this fight, in my sister’s name, to honour her last wish. Through this I feel grateful to learn more about the power of my strength, to carry me through the greatest of emotional tests. 

Even through all the darkness I take one blessing away with me from this. That is the feeling of being closer to my sister than ever before, standing by her side, as she watches in spirit…giving my all to protect her right to respect and justice once and for all. 

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